A “sad hippopotamus” and why its story is food for thought, notably these days

Sometimes it is little things or incidents in everyday life that make us reflect, and this is particularly necessary today, when a confusing flood of news about changes in the current world situation and about war and peace make it difficult to reflect calmly and in depth. In times like these, it is worth reflecting on the foundations needed for us to live together in harmony. Fortunately, books for children and young people, in particular, often focus on this kind of reflection. They often give their young readers a deeper insight into how people live together; they appeal to them emotionally and encourage them to think about what contribution they can make (according to their age) to living together in peace and freedom. These authors are committed to an ethic that sees every person as a valuable part of the human family from the moment they are born. Especially in the first years of life and school, (picture) books can support and guide children’s personal development and their attitude to life in adulthood.

Strange trends
and fashionable temptations

Unfortunately, such books have become rarer and we often have to fall back on out-of-print, older books (thankfully, many are passed on from one generation to the next). Incidentally, it is a pause-giving sign of the times and the zeitgeist with its false theories that today, many picture books, as well as books for children and young adults, offer unrealistic fantasy stories or advocate ideologies by means of which they tempt their young readers into a way of life that leads them away from their fellow human beings onto a path through life that is lonely and unhappy.
  I was lucky once again. In the “treasure trove” of discarded picture books in a small-town library, the illustration of a book cover caught my eye, to which the title “The Story of the Sad Hippopotamus”¹ did not seem to fit at all – and which therefore aroused my curiosity. But indeed – the hippopotamus was really sad, as I discovered in the first few pages of the book, as it constantly compared itself with its colleagues in the same environment and as it mercilessly judged itself as the most meaningless and superfluous animal in the world. It also wanted to do (supposedly) exciting things like its friends: wander as far as the zebra, roar as loudly as the lion, bite like the crocodile, splash water like the elephant, sneak around quietly like the leopard or eat from the treetops like the giraffe. But the hippo wasn’t able to do any of these things, which was enough to drive anyone to despair. I am – it thought sadly – just a boring hippo lying in its boring waterhole and eating boring reed grass.
  There was to be an end to this: “I’ve seen nothing of the world, just this dull old waterhole.” The hippo climbed out of the water and set off. The animals he had become friends with bravely confronted him, each in its own way. But it was all in vain - so what now?

Identify and empathise

A story like this encourages young (and older!) children to think, and the humanised animal characters in particular make it easier for them to identify with the protagonists of the story, to empathise with their life situations and to recognise a connection to their own human environment. For us adults, such stories are a heart-warming opportunity and a bridge to the pleasure of talking to children and young people and “philosophising” with them, as they themselves like to say: What is on the hippo’s mind? How could we help him? What do I like about it and what is it particularly good at? And what about me? What would I also like to be able to do, know and learn? Who can teach me? And who am I basically?

Simple and at
the same time sophisticated

I was naturally delighted to have found another picture book that deals with the pressing questions of children and young people in a playful and sensitive way, addressing fundamental issues of human coexistence. Many children and young people in particular have great doubts – often hidden behind cool posturing – when it comes to themselves and their lives, and they ask themselves: Who am I, what do I have the ability to do, what significance do I have in my social environment, and what should I become? Children and young people are constantly faced with these kinds of questions as they develop their personalities, individually determined by their family situation and the cultural and social circumstances in which each young person is seeking their way in life. However, adults can or must also think about this. They have an important task in this development process, which may seem simple but is also very demanding. It is simple because it arises from human nature, and demanding because it requires a clear view, especially today when there are so many educational ideologies floating around.

My friends need me

The hippopotamus had tried many things, but the land was not really its element. Who could, who would help? Its animal friends realised that none of them would be able to bring the hippo back to its waterhole on their own, even though they loved visiting him. They got together and carried it back together – a good idea! Isn’t that also called for in human coexistence? Joining forces, not just looking out for our own interests – or should life continue to be about just a few exploiting their power, indifferent to the fate of their fellow human beings, as is the order of the day in the neoliberal world order? That is why the problem of the assembled animals is also a human issue! They realised what was at stake and said: “We need you right now. Who will eat the reeds and keep the waterhole clean so that all the animals can drink?” And they offered to show the hippo everything he would like to learn – roaring like the lion, spraying water like the elephant, sneaking like the leopard ... The giraffe even bent down a treetop to let him taste the leaves. It was a meeting of equals. The hippo understood and felt that he was a valued member of a larger community and was making (as he wanted to make) an indispensable, important contribution to his friends. “If you live by a waterhole, you’re never really alone. The others may be able to do exciting things – but nobody can eat reed grass as well as I can,” it explained, reconciled to its life. The longed-for leaves that the giraffe offered it were no longer to its liking - no wonder?
  From a psychological point of view, this process can of course be classified as an individual cognitive process through which the hippopotamus can experience and strengthen its sense of self-efficacy. It realises its own importance and thus takes an important step in its development.
  However, the story becomes the occasion for an in-depth, age-appropriate discussion with children about the meaning of life and living together.

Even youngsters ask – who am I?

When I looked at the picture book, it was not only younger children who crossed my mind, but also many young people I had met in the course of my work at school and in the field. Several of them had had great difficulties in their first years of school, either in learning or because their behaviour had prevented them from having quiet and peaceful lessons. A different school environment had become necessary. These youngsters, in particular, were very much confronted with the question of their own importance and their impact in their peer group. Their previous stumbling blocks were an additional complication and burdened their feeling of being a valuable fellow human being. But they had set out on their journey (which required their courage as well as pedagogical skill on the part of the teachers) and were searching for their value and identity. Many still had great self-doubts, which some of them expressed superficially by criticising their appearance: too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, nose too wide, eyes not violet blue, hair like chives ... But it was always noticeable that they were looking for and needed us as adults to stand calmly and confidently by their side in this challenging phase of their lives.
  In the past, lacking role models, guidance and support, some of the young people had been avid visitors to the latest influencers’ YouTube channels, which had increasingly taken them away from their peers and from the real world. They had uncritically and credulously admired the digitally embellished facades of their idols, who led their followers to believe they were living a seemingly happy (though empty) life. In comparison with the embellished photos on the media portals the youngsters visited, they could only feel meaningless and superfluous (like the sad hippopotamus), and that is how they judged themselves. For example, Eva, who always struggled with her figure and thought she was infinitely stupid, and Mirko, who cursed his pretty curly mop of hair and therefore tried to straighten it with lots of hair gel, or Nadia, who had even set up her own YouTube channel and spent a lot of time altering her photos with Photoshop and filters in anticipation of admiring followers (afterwards you looked in vain for her own endearing charisma). In the meantime, I appreciated them all as great young people who – if not always openly and enthusiastically – allowed us adults to guide them to reassessing and changing many things.

“Best friends” –
honest, helpful, reliable …

It was interesting to see which values were important to “my” adolescents in their relationships. From their point of view, what makes the “best friends” they dreamed of? I wanted to find an answer to this question by talking to them. I was amazed at what they wanted from friends, despite being constantly bombarded by the media’s fabricated, highly acclaimed idols: Best friends should be helpful, reliable, honest and funny and – happy when someone was good at something. Just like in the “story of the sad hippopotamus” ... That was only to be encouraged! I knew that getting there would require a lot from these adolescents, because friendship needs equal give and take. But they addressed the core aspects of human existence: the deep desire for an inner home with fellow human beings in their immediate and wider surroundings. Until then, they had experienced too little for them to be able to support themselves in interpersonal relationships and in this way to find an inner orientation as to what their lives should look like.
  And if you think further, they thus articulated their need for protection against that interfering intrusion into the most personal areas of their lives that has become commonplace today. Their insecurity and their struggle for recognition had repeatedly led them to reveal too much about themselves online, without realising that this was taking away their right to their own personal sphere – so they had a legitimate need to protect themselves.

Coexistence in harmony and equality

What is obvious when living together with children and young people also applies to us adults. It is about the feeling of social connectedness – about secure interpersonal relationships, as has been proven many times by scientific research. They are the basis of mental health and a prerequisite for the development of a strong, individual personality.
  It is not only children and young people who have a deep desire to get together with others and have friends (even if this is sometimes concealed behind a strange demeanour or even behaviour that seems to be mentally disturbed). At the end of the day, it is all about trusting your fellow human beings and of feeling secure of being a valuable fellow human being, even if you have a different opinion than others. This is not always easy because you may have to accept that the other person will make disparaging remarks or even break off the relationship if their opinion doesn’t get through. Overcoming these hurdles is not easy (and not just for children and young people). However, especially in our times, it is necessary, in order to withstand political temptations, see through power strategies and keep a clear head. This requires the internalisation of universally valid values of one’s own culture, towards which we orientate ourselves, as the young people called it. It is just as important to know and appreciate the achievements of previous generations and to respect the achievements of other cultures. Only in this way is it possible to live together as equals in peace. It can start with a conversation – perhaps inspired by (picture) books, for example about a sad hippopotamus. •

¹ Norlin, Arne und Anderson, Lena. Die Geschichte vom traurigen Nilpferd. (The story of the sad hippopotamus.) Munich: Bertelsmann 1993